You’ve probably heard the saying, “Women are from Venus, men are from Mars.” Could that explain why we don’t always speak each other’s language? Lack of understanding and miscommunication often make collaboration between men and women challenging. Why does this happen, and how can you ensure successful communication with the other gender?
In essence, the difference in communication boils down to the fact that men generally communicate with a more goal-oriented approach, while women tend to focus more on building relationships. Both genders employ communication for different purposes. Men use communication to establish status and achieve tangible results. A man’s self-image is typically defined based on the outcomes he achieves. On the other hand, women primarily use communication to enhance social connections and create relationships. Unlike men, women’s self-image is defined based on emotions and the quality of their relationships with others. In general, men have a need to achieve results, while women strive for high-quality relationships.
“Overall, men want to feel needed, appreciated, and admired, while women strive to feel cherished, respected, and devoted.”
– JOHN GRAY (GRAY, 1992)
According to the Influence Model®, individuals become more influential when they can balance goal-oriented and relationship-oriented communication. Our research supports the above findings, indicating that women primarily utilize influence styles that are relationship-oriented, while men employ influence styles that are goal-oriented. Based on this model, men are more likely to assert themselves and express their thoughts (push energy), while women tend to give space to others, seek opinions, and ideas (pull energy).
To communicate successfully with the opposite gender, it is useful to be able to flexibly employ different influence styles and switch between them at the right moment. This way, you can achieve your goals in any situation while strengthening your relationship with the conversation partner. Ultimately, this leads to achieving more, both in your work and personal life.
Where Can I Learn This?
In the Positive Power and Influence® Programme you learn to read a situation at a strategic level. Depending on your goal, the situation, and your conversation partner, you will know how to employ the appropriate influence style. Do you want to be successful in your conversations? Discover what Positive Power and Influence® Programme can do for you.
Push or Pull, What Do You Do?
Are you primarily an Expert, Instructor (push energy), Confidant, or Innovator (pull energy)? Take the Influence Test and find out which influence style you naturally possess. We will tell you all about the strengths and pitfalls of each style and provide you with tips and exercises to improve your ability to balance between influence styles.