Taking up too much space in meetings, being vague, resisting change, missing deadlines, showing no initiative, or never asking questions… These common frustrations can make collaboration difficult. Whatever the behaviour, it’s affecting you. Our advice? Don’t just put up with it—do something about it. Address the issue tactfully but directly and take control of the situation.
Step 1: Prepare for the conversation
Addressing someone’s behaviour or collaboration style isn’t always easy. Start by writing down what you’ve observed—what specific behaviour is causing an issue, and how it affects you. You can also note how you would like things to change to make the conversation clearer and more constructive.
Step 2: Address the behaviour or collaboration
- Don’t beat about the bush
Let your colleague know you’d like to discuss your collaboration. Be upfront about what you’re struggling with and, if needed, acknowledge that you find it difficult to bring up. - Explain what the issue is
The more specific you are about their behaviour, the better. If you’ve noticed a pattern, mention it and use a concrete example: “Yesterday, during our meeting, I noticed you shared a lot of details.” - Share how it affects you
For example: “I find it difficult to pick out the key message when there’s so much information.” - Give them a moment to process
Then, suggest a way forward: “I’d really appreciate it if you could keep your message more concise next time.”
Step 3: Give your colleague space to respond
Find out if your colleague recognises their behaviour and what might be driving it. Ask questions and stay open to their answers. They may not even realise they’re doing it, or perhaps they feel unheard or nervous about contributing. Encourage them to share their perspective and what they might need to improve the situation. There may be ways you can support them too.
A positive outcome
Finally, avoid repeatedly focusing on the negative behaviour during the conversation. Instead, shift the focus to solutions and how you can work together moving forward. By the end of the discussion, aim to reach a mutual agreement or solution that works for both of you. That way, you clear the air and set the stage for better collaboration!