So frustrating. Your plan is foolproof, you’ve done everything right. Now you can’t wait to get it done. But every time you bring it up, it seems like you’re talking to a brick wall. Your colleague just won’t listen. So, you try again. But you don’t get through and nothing gets done. How can this be?
#1 If you keep pushing, the other person will keep pushing too.
People will always react to the way you communicate. A natural response to a lot of ‘sending’ is simply ‘sending back’. Think about it. If you get a lot of arguments thrown at you in a discussion, you’ll soon be in argument mode yourself, right? Well, it happens to others too.
TIP: Send a little less.
#2 You have to listen before you can be heard.
A piece of wisdom that could be written on a tile. But it is the truth. People who don’t feel heard often don’t listen to the other person properly. So you end up in a conversation where both parties are dissatisfied. You can say: the other person should start listening. But if you take control, you are setting a good example.
TIP: Ask questions and be curious about the answers.
#3 Your arguments are most important to you
Your idea is the best and you have good reasons for it. But that doesn’t mean that the person you’re talking to thinks those arguments are important. So in a discussion about content, think first and foremost about how relevant your plan is to your counterpart. What are the other person’s interests? What do they care about most?
TIP: Use arguments that are relevant to the other person.
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